The Betty Jukebox Challenge

Beth, or Betty Boo to anyone who reads her blog, is notoriously hard to please when it comes to music. She loves many things and has a good ear, but is tough to get round to your way of thinking particularly on new in vogue bands. She is you see, free of the constraints of us reviewers and such like, always listening with the thoughts of 'coolness' in our minds and sometimes failing to escape this and fulfil the job of giving a fair and balanced critique.

She is a musical rogue, equally happy with Take That or Patti Smith but unimpressed by any previous credentials (her opinions on The Beatles would make many a man's eye's water). So we have brought her in to cut through the bullshit, to cast her all powerful imaginative eyes over a host of recent tracks from bands currently spinning on the radio. They're all indie and rock tracks this time round but stay tuned on her own blog for a similar styled look at all things pop. We would also like to point out at this point that Take That's 'Shine' was going to be included here but would so easily have blown everything else from the water that it seemed unfair to allow it in.

So onwards and upwards to our own bastardized version of 'Jukebox Jury', we hope you enjoy.

Gruff Rhys – Candylion
Hmm... I like the ‘dingy’ bits. It's like Jack Johnson in a nursery. With the odd bit that sounds like a Hanna Barbera cartoon character's knees knocking together, or maybe their eyes spinning round in their skull. He has a soft voice which didn’t really grab me. Don't get me wrong, the song's nice, but I feel like I've heard it before. I wouldn’t pay congestion charge to listen to it, there's absolutely no edge to it.

Good, Bad and Queen – Kingdom of Doom
Ooooooh; very atmospheric. It's like Damon Albarn has three musical heads: A Blur head, A Gorillaz head, and a Good Bad & the Queen head, but he keeps them in seperate boxes or maybe rooms, so they don't spill into each other and thus confuse the listener. He's very good at changing his head. So from me that's a good response. This is a great song! ACE!

Kaiser Chiefs – Ruby
I like it when that scarf-wearing guy isn't singing. But here's the conundrum: Is he talking about curry, the Eastenders character or the jewel. I'm thinking it's probably the curry. I do like it, it makes my head bop a bit... but not as good as GB&Q. Maybe if Ricky re-records his vocals I'd prefer it... but I did enjoy it.

The View – Same Jeans
Wearing the same jeans for FOUR DAYS???? There's no excuse for such scruffiness. Oooh I like the shouty bit, although I feel like I'm in an indie club in the late 90s, which isn't long enough ago to be influencing today's music if you ask me. I mean, Take That are still around for god's sake. I suppose I'm saying it feels like a late 90s style indie tune. But it isn't. In my opinion; casual is good but smelly is certainly not. And I think, judging by the sound of his voice, the jeans would be smelly now. This song isn't great, it could be album track.

The Shins – Phantom Limb
Oooh, I've walked into a Zach Braff film, I'm a 20-something man and my life is going to shit... and I have dark hair... but oh look, there's a quirky girl for me to fall for. Perfect. It's lovely and summery, I'm sure the sun has come out since we put the song on! I like the falsetto bit, ooh yes, that was good.

Arcade Fire – Intervention
Now I've walked into a church of fire. It's very dramatic... kind of like a religious Mexican soap opera. Oh now, a rock band has walked in... although how the drummer walked in with a drum kit is beyond me. Ace buttons. I like it. Very cool, yes I felt cool listening to it, I think my 'cool quotient' has been upped by about 10 points... although now I've used the word quotient it's probably gone right back down again. I can’t wait to see them use their organ live.

Fall Out Boy - It Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race
Hang on, this has all gone a bit Maroon 5... Oh no, now it sounds like Offspring... but with added 'Ooohs'... and good lord I like my ‘Ooohs’. I like the changes in pace and tempo, it will definitely help us twenty-someting FOB fans to be able to take a break between 'mosh' choruses. I like this quite a lot, but I don't think I would like Maroon 5 teaming up with the Offspring.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Satan Said Dance
Oh god, somehow I got stuck in an Indian Computer game... in a piano bar... next to motorway. Confusing, but fun.

Cold War Kids – Hang Me Up To Dry
Oh yes. I feel cool immediately. They're all attitude-filled, like they don’t have to prove anything to us. Which I guess they don't, they're not rushing it for anyone. I liked the chorus very much. Although I'm a little confused. They definitely need a better piano player, someone who can at least play 'Chopsticks'. In fact they might all need a little instrumental training... except the drummer. I'd sum up the mood of the song by saying it feels a little uncomfortable , yet cool. Like great shoes you haven't broken in yet.

I Was A Cub Scout – Pink Squares
There goes the head-nodding... This is from The O.C, I swear. Well if it's not, they should squeeze it into the final few episodes. I like people who sound like they can’t really sing because to the break or waver in their voice, so I like this singer. Oh wow, we've had 'Oooh's in previous songs, but ‘Uh oh oh’ wins the day! Genius. What a great change of mood. I'm loving it. My whole body has been taken by the fabness of this track. ACE BUTTONS COOL!!

The Klaxons – Golden Skans
I like The Klaxons anyway, so this will be good. I love the 'oooweeoooweeeeooohs’. I like the slightly dark atmosphere in the background. This song's like a nice sugary cake with dark chocolate syrup underneath. And you know that's really good.

Joan As Policewoman – The Ride
Wow. I love this song. I love her voice. This is just amazingly languid and beautiful. Pure, unadulterated quality. The BEST!!

So the winner is: Joan As Policewoman. Runners Up: The Good The Bad and The Queen and I Was A Cub Scout